When a Friend Isn’t There When You Need Them the Most: Learning to Be Your Own Person

 

There are moments in life when you find yourself in need of someone—someone to talk to, someone to help you through the rough patches, someone to just be present with you. It’s natural to want a friend by your side, especially during the times when life feels overwhelming, when you feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. You call, you text, you reach out, hoping for a comforting presence. But what happens when they aren’t there? When, despite your need, the people you turn to are nowhere to be found?

At first, it stings. You feel abandoned, as if the connection you thought you had wasn’t as strong as you believed. It’s a tough pill to swallow. In those moments of loneliness, the silence is deafening. And while it’s okay to feel hurt or disappointed, it’s also important to take a step back and realize something profound: sometimes, you have to learn to be your own person.

Platonic Friendship

 In today’s world, it’s crucial to recognize that boys and gay men can have authentic, platonic friendships without any unnecessary complications. 🚫 For too long, society has imposed outdated stereotypes, suggesting that friendship between boys and gay men is somehow problematic or complicated. But the truth is, friendship transcends sexual orientation.

Friendship is built on mutual respect, trust, and a genuine connection, not on assumptions about someone’s personal life. It’s time to debunk the myth that boys and gay men can’t just be friends. 💡 Whether you’re straight, gay, or anywhere in between, everyone deserves to have friends who support them, challenge them, and stand by them.

Platonic friendships are real, valuable, and deserve to be recognized without bias or judgment. 🌟 We need to move beyond the stereotypes and understand that true friendship is about connection and respect—nothing more, nothing less.

By normalizing friendships between boys and gay men, we’re taking a step toward a more inclusive, understanding society. It’s time to break down these barriers and celebrate all kinds of friendships, embracing the diversity that makes our relationships richer and more meaningful. 🌈

Let’s start celebrating the friendships that matter, regardless of who they involve. Platonic friendships are powerful, and it’s time we all acknowledge that.

Red Flags in Friendship 🚩🚩🚩

Red flags in a friendship are warning signs or indicators of potential problems or issues within the relationship. While no friendship is perfect, recognizing these red flags can help you assess whether the friendship is healthy and whether you should address the issues or even consider ending the friendship. Here are some common red flags in friendships:

1. Lack of trust: If you can't trust your friend or if they betray your trust repeatedly, it's a significant red flag.

2. One-sidedness: If the friendship is consistently one-sided, where you are the only one making an effort, it's not a balanced relationship.

3. Frequent cancelations: If your friend frequently cancels plans or is unreliable, it can be a sign of disrespect for your time and commitment.

4. Consistent negativity: If your friend is always negative, critical, or unsupportive, it can take a toll on your emotional well-being.

5. Gossip and betrayal: If your friend gossips about you or betrays your confidences, it's a breach of trust.

6. Manipulation or control: If your friend tries to control or manipulate you, your choices, or your relationships, it's a concerning red flag.

7. Lack of empathy: A true friend should be empathetic and understanding. If your friend is consistently indifferent to your feelings and problems, it's a red flag.

8. Competitive behavior: Healthy competition is normal, but if your friend is always trying to outdo you or put you down, it's not a supportive friendship.

9. Constant drama: If your friend thrives on drama and consistently creates or escalates conflicts, it can be exhausting and unhealthy.

10. Unresolved conflicts: If you and your friend can't communicate effectively or address conflicts, and they fester over time, it's a red flag.

11. Disrespectful behavior: Any form of disrespect, such as name-calling, insults, or rudeness, is a significant red flag.

12. Isolation from other relationships: If your friend tries to isolate you from other friends and loved ones, it can be a sign of controlling behavior.

13. Jealousy: If your friend is overly jealous of your other friendships or successes, it can lead to problems.

14. Disregard for boundaries: A healthy friendship respects personal boundaries. If your friend consistently crosses those boundaries, it's a concern.

15. Draining energy: If the friendship consistently drains your energy and leaves you feeling exhausted or unhappy, it may not be healthy.

It's essential to remember that red flags don't necessarily mean you should end the friendship immediately. Communication is often the key to resolving these issues. Talk to your friend about your concerns, and if they are willing to address the problems and work on the friendship, it may be salvageable. However, if the issues persist, and the friendship remains toxic or harmful, it might be best to consider ending it for your own well-being.

 

Sometimes We Just Have to Say Goodbye

Friendship is a beautiful bond that enriches our lives, providing support, laughter, and companionship. However, as we journey through life, it's not uncommon for friendships to evolve and change. Sometimes, without any fights or conflicts, friendships can peacefully grow apart. While it can be a bittersweet experience, it's important to understand that these changes are a natural part of life's ebb and flow. 

Friendships, like any other relationship, go through various stages. What once seemed inseparable and all-encompassing may begin to shift over time. People grow, priorities change, and interests diverge. It's crucial to recognize these stages and understand that friendships naturally ebb and flow as we progress through life's different chapters.

As we mature, our priorities and interests evolve. Friendships that were initially built on shared experiences and commonalities may find themselves drifting apart as individuals embark on different paths. Whether it's career aspirations, personal relationships, or newfound passions, it's important to appreciate that personal growth can lead to friendships naturally shifting.

Friendships are often built on shared experiences and memories. As life takes its course, individuals may find themselves engaged in different activities, meeting new people, and developing new interests. Gradually, the common ground that once served as the foundation of the friendship may diminish, resulting in a sense of growing apart.

One of the key ingredients in maintaining any relationship is effective communication. However, as friendships naturally change, communication patterns may also shift. Busy schedules, new commitments, or simply drifting interests can lead to less frequent conversations and interactions. Without proactive effort, this reduced communication can contribute to the gradual fading of the friendship

It's essential to understand that friendships growing apart is not a reflection of personal shortcomings or failures. Change is an inevitable part of life, and as friendships evolve, it's important to embrace the new experiences and connections that come along. By acknowledging that friendships can peacefully grow apart, we can cultivate a mindset of acceptance and gratitude for the memories shared.

While it may be difficult to let go of a cherished friendship, it's important to recognize the opportunities for new connections that lie ahead. As we navigate through life, we encounter countless individuals with whom we can forge new bonds. By actively seeking out and nurturing new relationships, we open ourselves up to the potential for new friendships that align with our current values and interests.

Friendships growing apart can be a bittersweet experience, but it's important to remember that change is a natural part of life. By understanding the reasons behind friendships evolving, embracing the change, and nurturing new connections, we can navigate this process with grace and gratitude. Cherish the memories shared, and be open to the new friendships that await on the horizon.

 

Beach with Friends

"Life is better with sand between your toes and friends by your side."

Holy Weekend

Pantaland 2015

Can we talk about how amazing this party was! It's good we need a re-up. Too good I'm too on it. I don't really dance on the streets but this one made me..Step by step til the sun is up. WE WON'T STOP!

My Shady Crew

Making Decisions

Today, I made a decision. Probably the hardest I ever made. It involves every aspect of my life. As a person. As a human being. 

The Backstory:

Well, if you don't know me. I don't let anybody get close as any normal person would. I always had these walls up. Even at work. I don't consider everyone as my friend. Yes we all get along just fine but again, my walls are always up. 

There was this someone, let's just call him Gee. That's the nickname I gave him. I always have special names for my friends that Im the only one calling them. (There's Garutay, lablab, baby girl, true love, first live, baby boy) yeah Im weird like that. He calls me supervisor.

He bacame one of the people I trust, not only with my life but with my parents' as well. We hang, we laugh and we whine about life together. He was really cool and all. When something went wrong, I always go out of my way just to make sure he is okay. 

Few months went by and we were okay. It was exactly a month ago when everything went crumbling down. He shut me out of his life. We stopped everything we used to do. He dropped me off like a hot potato and pushed me into the drain. HE WALKED OUT, I was LEFT OUT. 

He even sold me out on facebook. He posted about people from work were talking about him seeing someone. I tried reaching out to him but instead he posted to mind our own business and to go to the gym. It doesn't need rocket science to figure this one out. I know it was about me. 

Just kept my distance and stay silent because I don't want to hurt him for the things that I might say. 

Last Saturday, It was my last straw. I went berserk and walked out. 

This whole thing made me question myself. It gives me self doubt. It made me question  the fact that I can't make friends (in the real sense of the word). All I understand is, I have ISSUES. All this, I blame myself to. I felt like a nutcase. 

I know we said sorry to each other. I am really sorry for the things that I have put you through. I'M SO SORRY I AM DIFFICULT. 

I would like to go back to where we were but things changed and that's just the way it is. This time I think you were wrong. YOU ARE NOT LETTING GO. You are giving up but it's okay. because this time I know where I stand. I KNOW WHERE TO GO.

Facebook Brawls

I knew he was gonna put it on facebook. Social Media nowadays had become an avenue for people to express their feelings and thoughts. But spilling your own tea on facebook is another story. I was wondering whatever happened to talkin shit out and whatever happened to our friendship. I was takin aback when a workmate of mine told me that one of my very close friend posted shit about me on FB. At first, I told myself not to care but then the other side of me is saying that I SHOULD. We are friends and friends talk when there's something wrong.

How did this thing turned out to be so evil. You go preaching about GOD and spreading hate a long the way. This doesn't make sense to me.

If you really didn't care, you wouldn't wanna share. You go tellin everybody just how you feel. I am posting this because I care. I care so much to wonder what is happening to you.

I hope one day you will realize that you are hurting people that really cares about you. But for now let's just stop!

Friends

I have crazy Friends

Goodbye 2014

Hangin with them as we bid 2014 Goodbye.

Thank you so much guys for making my 2014 worthwile

while you are at it don't forget to like my facebook page, follow me on Twitter, and Instagram

Ullis Streets of Asia

while you are at it don't forget to like my facebook page, follow me on Twitter, and Instagram

First Time Ever

Today, I had the oppurtunity to do something for the first time. I have been everywhere but I have never been anything closer to a sour tape. It's candy. I think I don't have to explain. I might be the last person on Earth to eat it. So lame. But it makes me happy. So happy. What made it so special is that, it came all the way to Denmark. Thank you Freya Armstrong for sharing it to me. Tak!

while you are at it don't forget to like my facebook page, follow me on Twitter, and Instagram

What are You Most Thankful For?

I am thankful for the life I have, the people that I am with and for the problems I have. This means that I have enough strength to get by, to live and to conquer!

while you are at it don't forget to like my facebook page, follow me on Twitter, and Instagram

Catching Up

Mighty Seafood Platter

Whenever I am down, I usually look for something good to eat. With some of my friends on the mix and I have the perfect recipe to bring my self up.

It was nice catching up with you guys!

while you are at it don't forget to like my facebook page, follow me on Twitter, and Instagram

Waving Goodbye

Samantha Warren from Australia

Jasmin Bergmann from Germany and Erin Sturkemboom from New Zealand.

Yall have a good life ahead of you.

while you are at it don't forget to like my facebook page, follow me on Twitter, and Instagram

MIG.ME

Dear Friends,

I am inviting you all to come and join me into the latest social media heatwave to hit the country. MIG.me

I have been into it for almost 2 weeks now, and I liked my stay so far. If you want to see how I've been doing you can click the link. http://mig.me/skinnybrokovich 

Don't forget to add me, okay.

while you are at it don't forget to like my facebook page, follow me on Twitter, and Instagram

Photo credits: Bloodymir de Leon of Facebook

Socials

Daily Grind