Last Friday in therapy, we talked about connections in life, the kind you lose, the kind you find again, and the kind that change you without asking for permission.
I didn’t expect the conversation to hit as hard as it did. Maybe it’s because I’ve been carrying ghosts lately, friendships that once felt like home but slowly became places I could no longer return to. It’s strange how people can be your safe space one moment, then a reminder of everything you had to outgrow the next.
My therapist asked me what I’ve learned from all the comings and goings of people in my life. I wanted to answer something wise or poetic, but the truth that came out was simple: “Nothing is permanent. Not even the people who promised they’d stay.”
And maybe that’s not a sad thing. Maybe it’s just life being honest.
Because the more I thought about it, the more I realized how certain friendships were never meant to last forever. Some people come into your life to teach you gentleness. Others teach you strength. Some remind you what love looks like. Some remind you what love should never feel like. And when their purpose is done, the universe quietly rearranges the distance between you.
What hurts most isn’t losing people. It’s realizing who they really were all along. Time has this brutal, beautiful way of revealing the truth. Masks slip. Intentions show. And when the truth finally crawls out into the light, you are left with no choice but to break the connection, even if your heart still remembers the warmth of it.
But here is the part therapy helped me see:
Treasure the connections you have now, the real ones, the gentle ones, the ones that do not make you shrink. They are rare. They are honest. They show up for you in ways others only pretended to.
And if one day they also find their way out of your story, at least you will know you honored them while they were in it.
Life is not about keeping everyone.
It is about recognizing who is worth keeping and having the courage to let go of those who are not.