Breaking the Cycle

 Ahem. There was this girl I know. She was cute, alright, but she had one fatal flaw—she liked one of my closest friends, and he never saw her worth.

She did everything to get his attention. She hung out with the boys, chilled at a common friend’s house, even made up stories just to keep him around. But the harder she tried, the further he pulled away. I thought it was pathetic, cheap, and degrading.

Until today.

Over dinner, I told my sister about this girl. About all the things she did. And my sister? She dropped a truth bomb I wasn’t ready for.

"You have no right to laugh at her," she said. "Considering all the things you did with that guy."

And just like that, it hit me.

I was that girl—or maybe even worse. I’ve been caught in this vicious cycle: meet a guy, fall hard, fall harder, get crazy, things fall apart, melt down, move on. Rinse. Repeat.

My sister asked me when it will stop. Truth is, I don’t know the answer.

But here's what I’m starting to realize: it’s not about the guy, the chase, or even the heartbreak. It’s about me. My choices, my patterns, my why. Why do I keep running after people who don’t stay? Why do I give so much of myself to someone who doesn’t give the same back?

It’s a hard truth to swallow, but sometimes, the love we desperately try to find in others is the love we’re not giving ourselves.

So, to the girl I laughed at—you taught me something. You weren’t pathetic. You were just looking for love in the wrong place.

And to myself—maybe it’s time to break the cycle. To pause, reflect, and remember that love isn’t about losing yourself to find someone else.

It’s about finding you.