The Question That Shook Me in Therapy

 Last Friday in therapy, I was asked a question I wasn’t ready for:

“When was the last time you truly felt loved?”

Not the kind of love you get from family, not the loyalty of friends, but the kind of love where someone chooses you. The kind that makes you feel safe, wanted, and deeply seen.

And for a moment, I just sat there in silence. My mind went blank.
Because the truth was… I had no memory to hold onto.
No moment I could point back to.

So I said it out loud.
“Never. I don’t think I’ve ever truly felt that kind of love.”

And as the words left my mouth, it stung. Because I realized how much of my life I’ve spent being “needed” but not “wanted.” Being used, but not chosen. Being there for others, but never really feeling like anyone wanted to be there for me.

It’s a painful thing to admit.
To acknowledge that I’ve been carrying this emptiness for so long.
But maybe that’s also the beginning of healing—finally seeing the wound for what it is.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know this: I’m learning to stop settling for scraps of affection disguised as love. I’m learning that I deserve to be chosen. To be loved for who I am, not just for what I can give.

And maybe the first step is choosing myself, fully and unapologetically.

✨ Have you ever felt the same way—that you were needed, but not truly wanted?