Healing Isn’t Always Linear

 I had to make an appointment with my therapist today, because honestly, life has been feeling heavier than I know how to carry on my own.

The things I once prayed for don’t feel the same anymore. The job, the routines, the relationships no longer bring the comfort they used to. I feel disconnected from myself, from my purpose, even from the people I love. Some days it feels like I’m just trying to hold everything together with shaky hands.

It feels as if everything around me is shifting at once. Relationships I thought were solid start to feel fragile. My health feels unpredictable. Finances are tighter than ever. In the middle of all that, I find myself asking if any of this still makes sense, if I even chose the right path.

There are moments I catch myself longing to go back to the start, to figure out where I went wrong, to fix everything all at once. But the truth is, I’m exhausted. Carrying all of this weight has left me drained. And yet, even in this heaviness, a small part of me remembers that I’ve been through storms before. I’ve made it through days I was certain would break me. Somehow, I survived what I thought I couldn’t.

So today, I chose to pause. I chose to ask for help. I chose to admit that I can’t do it all alone. Making that appointment wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. Because even when everything feels like it’s falling apart, I know deep down I still want to fight for myself, for my healing, for the life I deserve.

I don’t have it all figured out, and I don’t feel okay right now, but I believe I will be. Step by step, breath by breath, I’ll get there.

The Question That Shook Me in Therapy

 Last Friday in therapy, I was asked a question I wasn’t ready for:

“When was the last time you truly felt loved?”

Not the kind of love you get from family, not the loyalty of friends, but the kind of love where someone chooses you. The kind that makes you feel safe, wanted, and deeply seen.

And for a moment, I just sat there in silence. My mind went blank.
Because the truth was… I had no memory to hold onto.
No moment I could point back to.

So I said it out loud.
“Never. I don’t think I’ve ever truly felt that kind of love.”

And as the words left my mouth, it stung. Because I realized how much of my life I’ve spent being “needed” but not “wanted.” Being used, but not chosen. Being there for others, but never really feeling like anyone wanted to be there for me.

It’s a painful thing to admit.
To acknowledge that I’ve been carrying this emptiness for so long.
But maybe that’s also the beginning of healing—finally seeing the wound for what it is.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know this: I’m learning to stop settling for scraps of affection disguised as love. I’m learning that I deserve to be chosen. To be loved for who I am, not just for what I can give.

And maybe the first step is choosing myself, fully and unapologetically.

✨ Have you ever felt the same way—that you were needed, but not truly wanted?

Healing, Even on the Days I Spiral

 Healing isn’t linear. Some days you rise, some days you spiral. Both are part of the process.

Last Friday’s therapy session was heavy. I sat across from my therapist, heart wide open, unpacking layers of pain I didn’t even know I was still carrying. We talked about my struggles with abandonment and attachment. How I tend to hold on tightly to people, even when they were never meant to stay.

I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve. I love deeply. I trust easily. I give without asking much in return, and because of that, I often get attached to people who are only just passing through my life.
People with their own timelines, their own purposes. People who sometimes leave without warning.

And every time, it hurts like hell. Because I placed so much weight and value on people who didn’t even see my worth.

But something clicked last week. Something inside me shifted.
I realized that not everyone is meant to be a forever. Some are just temporary. Here to teach a lesson, bring clarity, or reveal something about ourselves. And I have to stop giving permanent space in my heart to people who were never meant to stay.

Still, healing doesn’t always feel empowering.

Today, I spiraled a bit.
I got invited to an event, a chance to go out, meet people, maybe have a little fun. But I chose to stay home. Not because I didn’t want to go… but because I was scared.
Scared of feeling again.
Scared of connecting.
Scared that if I opened up, I’d get attached to someone new… and get hurt all over again.

That fear. It’s real. And today, it won.
But I’m not beating myself up over it.
Because sometimes protecting your peace looks like saying no.
Sometimes it’s staying in instead of forcing yourself to “be okay.”
Sometimes it’s giving yourself grace when your heart feels too fragile to risk again.

I’m still learning. Still healing. Still trying to balance my softness with strength.

But I know this much now:
My heart is not broken. It’s rebuilding.
And I’m not done yet.

🕊️ One day at a time. One breath at a time. 🤍

I Don’t Know If Filipinos Have Heard of Zarna Garg But You Should

 

I don’t know if many Filipinos have heard of Zarna Garg, but she’s someone worth discovering, especially if you grew up in a household full of expectations, tradition, and comedy that wasn’t always meant to be funny.

Zarna Garg is an Indian American comedian, writer, and mom who took a wildly unexpected path to stardom. Born and raised in India, she ran away from home at just 14 to escape an arranged marriage. Years later, she rebuilt her life in the United States, becoming a lawyer and then a stay-at-home mom for over 15 years.

Then, in her 40s with zero showbiz background, she stepped onto a New York comedy stage for the first time. And people couldn’t stop laughing.

Her stories? They're about things we know all too well—strict immigrant parenting, in-laws who have opinions, kids growing up in two cultures, and the never-ending question: “Why aren’t you a doctor yet?”

In 2023, she released her first Amazon Prime special One in a Billion. Just recently, she followed it up with a Hulu special called Practical People Win. She also released a bestselling memoir called This American Woman, where she shares how she reinvented herself, one laugh at a time. If that wasn’t enough, she’s acted in a feature film (A Nice Indian Boy), tours comedy clubs across the U.S., and has over a million followers across TikTok and Instagram.

What makes Zarna stand out isn’t just that she’s funny. It’s how she’s funny. She brings immigrant family life to the stage with authenticity, warmth, and boldness. Her jokes are personal, but they resonate with people from all backgrounds, especially in places like the Philippines, where family dynamics, parental pressure, and cultural pride are just as real.

Zarna doesn’t curse, doesn’t use shock humor, and isn’t trying to be “cool.” She just tells the truth in a way that makes you laugh and say, “Wait, that’s my mom!”

In a world where comedy is often fast, loud, and edgy, Zarna’s brand of storytelling stands out because it’s honest, relatable, and full of heart.

So if you’ve ever argued with your parents about career choices, lived with a relative who overshares everything, or tried to raise kids in a culture different from your own, Zarna Garg’s comedy might just be your next favorite thing.

Check her out on YouTube, Hulu, or TikTok. You might laugh so hard you’ll text your nanay or lola about it.

A Little Bit Personal

 

Therapy last week was heavy.

Not in a way that broke me but in a way that peeled back layers I didn’t know I still carried. It was one of those sessions where a single question lingered long after the room got quiet:

“Do you feel like you’re still the same person you were in high school?”

And I didn’t even have to think about it. I said no.

I’m not that person anymore.
Back then, I had no boundaries. I didn’t know I was allowed to say no. I made myself so available to everyone that I didn’t leave anything for myself. I was everyone’s friend, sometimes to the point of losing who I actually was. I wore my people-pleasing like armor thinking it kept me safe, thinking it made me lovable. I said yes to things that didn’t feel right, stayed in spaces that drained me, and smiled when I should’ve spoken up.

But I’ve grown.

Now I can stand on my own even if that means standing alone.
I’ve learned that solitude is not loneliness. It is clarity. It is power.

I’ve built boundaries not as walls to shut people out but as doors to protect what I’ve worked so hard to rebuild in myself. I know what I tolerate. I know what I deserve. I know what I will never accept again.

And it’s wild, honestly, to look back and see how far I’ve come. To grieve the old version of myself while still feeling so much compassion for them. Because that person—naïve, tired, too nice for their own good—was just doing their best with what they knew.

But now I know better. I am better.
And that deserves to be honored.

🧠✨ #TherapyReflections #SelfGrowth #HealingIsNotLinear #ThenAndNow #PeoplePleaserNoMore #BoundariesAreLove #InnerPeace #ForTheSoulPh

Why Is It So Hard for Filipinos to Say “No”?

 Have you ever invited a Filipino friend to a party, a gathering, or even just a casual hangout — and instead of a direct yes or no, you got a vague answer like “Tingnan ko pa,” “Bahala na,” or the classic “If I can, I will”? You’re not alone. Many people, both Filipinos and foreigners alike, notice this cultural quirk: we rarely say “no” outright.

But why is it so hard for us to say no?

1. Pakikisama: The Need to Maintain Harmony

At the core of Filipino culture is pakikisama, or getting along with others. We value relationships and social harmony so deeply that we often prioritize them over personal comfort or honesty. Saying no can feel like a form of rejection — not just of the invitation, but of the person extending it. So instead, we give a non-committal answer, hoping it softens the blow.

2. Hiya: The Fear of Embarrassment

Hiya, or shame, also plays a huge role. We avoid confrontation and the possibility of making someone feel awkward or offended. Saying “no” directly might feel bastos (rude), even if the reason is valid. So instead, we say something that leaves room for interpretation. It’s not that we’re being dishonest — we’re just trying to save face (both ours and yours).

3. Utang na Loob and Obligations

Sometimes, we feel pressured by unspoken social debts. If someone has done something for us in the past, saying “no” feels like a betrayal of utang na loob. Even if we’re tired, busy, or uninterested, we’ll still hesitate to decline, out of a sense of moral or emotional obligation.

4. Fear of Missing Out — or Being Left Out

There’s also a cultural version of FOMO. We want to be included, to be part of the community, to not miss out on shared experiences. So even if deep down we know we can’t go, we’ll still entertain the idea, just in case plans shift in our favor.

5. We Were Raised That Way

From childhood, many of us were taught to be polite, respectful, and agreeable — sometimes to the point of self-sacrifice. Disagreeing with elders, declining an offer, or refusing a favor is often seen as walang modo. So we learn to cushion our rejections with vague answers or white lies: “May lakad ako,” “I’ll try,” or “Di ko pa alam eh.”

---

So What Now?

We’ve inherited a culture that leans toward indirectness and people-pleasing — and while it comes from a place of kindness, it can also lead to confusion, false hope, or even burnout. The good news? Cultural awareness can lead to cultural evolution.

There’s power in learning how to say no with kindness and clarity. It’s okay to honor your boundaries. It’s okay to disappoint others sometimes, especially if it means being true to yourself.

Because at the end of the day, isn’t honesty also a form of respect?

150 Days Sober

 150 Days of Sobriety: A Journey from Grief to Healing

Today, July 16, marks a significant milestone in my journey—150 days of sobriety. That’s five months of taking back control, reclaiming my peace, and learning that alcohol was never the answer to my grief. It was just a temporary solution, one that only masked the pain for a little while before it came rushing back, stronger than before.

For so long, I believed that a drink could numb the ache inside me. I thought it would make the sadness, the anger, and the confusion go away. But every time I woke up, the emptiness was still there. The truth I was avoiding remained unchanged. Alcohol, for me, became a coping mechanism, but it wasn’t helping me heal. It was only prolonging the inevitable. The pain didn’t disappear; it just got buried under layers of numbness.

Now, as I celebrate this 150-day milestone, I realize that the journey towards healing isn't about running away from the pain—it's about facing it. It's about allowing myself to feel what I need to feel, without judgment or shame. Sobriety has taught me that healing doesn’t come from drowning in a bottle but from processing emotions, seeking support, and finding healthier ways to cope.

There have been tough moments, times when the urge to reach for a drink felt overwhelming. But with each passing day, I’ve learned to lean into my feelings instead of running from them. I’ve found solace in journaling, in deep conversations with close friends, and in moments of stillness. I've started to rediscover what it means to live fully, not through the haze of alcohol, but with a clear mind and an open heart.

This milestone isn't just about being sober for 150 days; it's about the growth, the self-discovery, and the healing that has taken place in those days. I've learned that grief is a process. It doesn’t just go away. But every day I choose to face it, I get a little stronger, a little more resilient.

To anyone out there struggling, I want to say this: It’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to feel lost, but it’s also okay to seek help and choose a path that leads you to healing. Alcohol isn’t the answer, but you are. You have the strength inside you to move through the pain, one day at a time.

Here’s to 150 days, and to the countless more of growth, healing, and peace ahead. Thank you for being part of this journey.

Weekend Break

 Weekends are usually spent soaking up the sun on the beach—but today, we took a different route. We’re cruising around Nailon, Bogo City, and loving every bit of it. 🌤️🚗 From scenic coastal roads to charming local spots, this little barangay has its own magic if you just slow down and explore. Whether it’s a quick food stop, a peaceful seaside view, or a casual drive with friends, Nailon offers a refreshing take on weekend relaxation.There’s so much beauty in our own backyard—sometimes all it takes is a spontaneous drive to remind you of that.#NailonBogoCity #BogoCityCebu #CebuRoadtrip #NorthernCebu #LocalAdventuresPH #WeekendCruise #HiddenSpotsPH #ExploreBogo #CebuTravel #SupportLocalTourism #PhilippineDestinations France C. Bacasm Frezelia Dela Cruz

Support Like This

 Pay Full Price. Hype Them Up. Be a Real One.

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t sit right with me anymore: the way we treat our friends who are building something for themselves—whether it’s a business, a brand, a side hustle, or a creative pursuit.

You know the ones. The friends selling clothes, baking cupcakes, freelancing their design skills, offering home services, starting their own clinics, or curating thrift drops online. They’re putting themselves out there, taking risks, learning as they go, and working hard.

So why is it that when it’s our friend offering the service, we feel entitled to a discount?

“Pila man ang friends price?”
“Tagai ko ug hangyo beh, ikaw ra gud.”
“Libreha na oi, barkada man ta!”

Don’t get me wrong — maybe those words aren’t meant to hurt. Maybe they’re meant to be playful. But behind that banter is a pattern of not taking your friends’ hard work seriously. Of assuming that their time and effort are worth lessjust because you know them.

And honestly? That needs to stop.

When I support a friend’s business, I pay full price. Not because I’m rich. Not because I can’t use a discount. But because I see the value of what they do. I respect the grind. I know what it takes to build something from scratch, and the last thing I want to do is devalue that.

I don’t just buy from them either. I like and share their posts. I hype them up. I repost their announcements. I leave glowing reviews when I’m genuinely happy with the service. I treat them the same way I’d treat a big business I admire because if I won’t support the people closest to me, who will?

And when they post about me? I don’t mind at all. That’s love. That’s community. That’s how we help each other grow.

This is your reminder that your support doesn’t always have to come in the form of money, though paying full price is a huge help. Support can also look like sharing their posts, commenting “🔥🔥🔥” under their launch photos, tagging them when someone asks for recommendations, or simply telling them, “Hey, I’m proud of you.”

So let’s stop making our friends feel awkward for charging what they’re worth. Let’s stop expecting free labor from the people we say we love. Let’s normalize saying:

“I’m happy to pay.”
“You deserve this.”
“Let me post about your business real quick.”

We rise by lifting each other.
Support your friends like you support influencers you’ve never met. Because your friend’s hustle? That’s something to be proud of, not bargained with.

The Filipino LGBTQIA Community Has A Long Way To Go

 

Lately, it’s been heartbreaking to see members of our own community tearing each other down in the comments section. We should be lifting each other up, not breaking each other apart.

The words we use carry weight. They can heal or harm. They can empower or destroy. Just because someone doesn’t share your exact view doesn’t make them any less valid. Diversity in thought doesn’t have to lead to division.

Inclusivity means no one gets left behind.
Not the femme, not the masc, not the loud, not the soft-spoken. Not the ones still figuring it out. Not the ones who’ve known all along. We are all part of this fight, and together we stand—divided, we fall.

Beyond those words, I see fear. I see pain that has been in us for so long. Pain that stems from years—decades—of rejection, ridicule, and having to constantly defend our right to exist. That kind of trauma doesn’t disappear overnight. But it’s time. It’s time to move away from the pain and the ridicule. It’s time we stop projecting that pain onto each other and begin healing as one community.

Trans women are women. Let’s start from there.
If you don’t share the same belief, at the very least—listen. Listen without attacking. Learn without mocking. Disagree without dehumanizing. You can’t claim to be for equality and then draw the line where your comfort ends.

We’ve all felt what it’s like to be silenced, invalidated, erased. Let’s not recreate the very same systems of exclusion inside our own spaces.

Let’s educate ourselves, listen more, and judge less. The goal is progress, not perfection. We are all learning. Let’s build a community where we can grow and evolve together, with respect, empathy, and love at the center.

Because if we can’t stand for each other—who else will?

Happy Pride

Happy Pride Month 🏳️‍🌈

This month is a celebration of love, identity, freedom, and the long journey toward being seen, respected, and understood. But today, I want to use this moment to say something simple and deeply personal:

Thank you.

Thank you for accepting me—not just tolerating me, not just quietly coexisting with me, but truly accepting me for who I am. You didn’t ask me to explain myself. You didn’t ask me to change. You simply opened your arms, your heart, and your life to me. And that kind of acceptance is a rare, beautiful gift I will never take for granted.

You made space for me when I was still learning how to make space for myself.
You reminded me that I don’t have to be quiet to be respected.
That I don’t have to hide to be loved.
That I don’t have to shrink to fit into someone else’s idea of what’s comfortable.

I am allowed to take up space.
I am allowed to be proud of who I am.
And I am allowed to feel joy—not just in private moments, but out loud, in the light, without fear.

Thank you for being the kind of friend who sees me fully and loves me anyway.
Thank you for showing up, not just in words, but in presence, in patience, in action.
Thank you for holding space, even when you didn’t fully understand.
Thank you for standing beside me, especially in the moments when I felt most unsure of myself.

Pride is not just about parades and rainbow flags. It’s about people like you—people who choose to love out loud, who choose kindness over comfort, who choose allyship over silence.

I carry your friendship with me every day, and I celebrate it this month especially.
Because your support has helped me grow.
Your love has helped me heal.
And your presence has reminded me that I belong.

So again—thank you. For everything.
For the love. For the laughs. For the light.
For being a safe space. For being my friend.

With all my heart, and with so much pride,

🌈💖 

 

Yes, I have an Attitude

 YES, I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I OWN EVERY BIT OF IT

But let’s be real, this attitude comes with something rare
a loyalty that’s unshakable, untouchable, and unapologetic
I’m the type to ride for the people I care about like it’s my full-time job
I defend, protect, and stay solid even when no one’s watching
I don’t flinch, I don’t fold, and I don’t play pretend

I’ve been through enough in life to know who I am
and I won’t tone that down just to make anyone comfortable
I’m not built to sugarcoat, stay silent, or play submissive to keep people around
If you're in my world, you get the real me
fire, flaws, heart, and all
And trust me, my loyalty is a luxury
It’s not cheap, it’s not common, and it’s definitely not for the weak

You want someone quiet, passive, and easy to manipulate
Wrong girlie. Wrong energy
You want someone who won’t call you out when you’re wrong or stand up for what’s right
Keep scrolling
Because I’m not her

This attitude
It’s built from scars, survival, and self-respect
It’s shaped by lessons people tried to teach me the hard way
And now I wear it like armor

So yeah, I talk back when disrespected
I set boundaries when needed
And I will never beg for a seat at any table I can flip over

We ride hard or not at all
And if you can’t handle the fire
then baby, you were never meant to sit beside me in the first place

#AttitudeWithPurpose #UnapologeticEnergy #RealOnesOnly #TakeMeAsIAm #RideOrDieLoyalty #BuiltFromFire #IfYouCantHandleMeDontComeCloser

People I follow on TikTok who aren’t celebrities… but absolutely are in their own right.

 People I follow on TikTok who aren’t celebrities… but absolutely are in their own right.

No Oscars, no Met Gala invites — but in my algorithm, they walk the digital red carpet every day.

Jamie Xie
I think she’s Chinese, and she is Rich Rich. I watch her TikToks for the glam, the luxury, the “my life is a Vogue spread” aesthetic. Just in case I randomly marry rich or win the lottery — I’ll be ready. I won’t act brand new. I’ve studied the material.

Cottage of Brunswick
It’s literally someone restoring a cottage in Brunswick, and yet I wait for updates like it's a Netflix series. The peeling walls, the rustic tiles, the weird DIY choices that somehow work? Comfort content. Like a warm cup of tea but make it interior design.

Back to the Studs
Two gay men in NYC flipping homes and narrating it like it’s a fairytale — but with wood beams and emotional trauma. The voiceover? Soothing. The storytelling? Top tier. They could literally be reading plumbing instructions and I’d still watch.

angelinapj
Yes, I’m Angelina certified. There’s something about her accent, her humor, her storytelling — like I’m on FaceTime with a chaotic but lovable cousin who always has tea. I never swipe past her. She’s a core memory.

diabe.tech
I’m diabetic, and he’s like the Anderson Cooper of Diabetes TikTok. Updates, tips, tech reviews — all served in an easy-to-digest way (pun intended). It’s the only kind of “news” that doesn’t give me anxiety.

1. sherwinables
   Unhinged in the best way. Every post is something totally different — a chaotic costume, a mini play, a or a jest about the upper management. I never know what to expect, and that’s exactly why I’m watching. Niche internet gold.

90 Days

 

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything personal, so this one goes in deep.

For a while now, I’ve been struggling—really struggling—with grief. It’s the kind of weight that sneaks up on you, settles in your chest, and stays there no matter how loud the world gets. I didn’t really know how to cope. So I did what many people do when they don’t want to feel: I hid. And my hiding place? Alcohol.

It started as a way to get through the nights. Then the days. Then everything in between. I told myself I was living, but really, I was just surviving.

But here’s where the story shifts.

I’m 3 months sober. 90 days.

That might not sound like a lot to some people, but if you’ve ever struggled with addiction or even just relied too heavily on something that numbed you, then you know—90 days is everything. It’s the raw part. The part where you’re still learning to live without the thing that used to hold you together (even if it was actually tearing you apart).

It hasn’t been easy. There have been days when I’ve felt like I was unraveling. Days when I had to sit with pain that I used to drown. But there’s a strange beauty in the clarity that comes with sobriety. In feeling everything, finally. In healing, slowly.

I don’t have it all figured out. I’m still grieving. Still learning. But I’m proud—so damn proud—to say I’ve made it through these 90 days.

If you’re reading this and you’re in the thick of it too, I see you. I’m rooting for you. And I promise, even when it feels impossible, there is light on the other side of numbness.

Here’s to the next 90.

Start Now

 

Hey soul with big dreams,

Most people don’t quit.
They don’t even start.

They sit with the idea. They overthink. They wait for the “right” time. They let fear dress up as logic. They scroll for inspiration but never take the first step.

But you? You’re not most people.
You feel the nudge. You hear the calling. You’ve had the vision tug at your heart more times than you can count.

So what are you waiting for?

The truth is: perfection is a myth. Clarity comes from movement, not from thinking about moving. And if you keep waiting for confidence to magically appear before starting — you’ll be stuck forever. Confidence grows after you begin.

Start messy. Start unsure. Start scared if you must.
But for the love of everything you’ve ever dreamed of — just start.

🌱 Drop a “START” below if you’re done holding yourself back.
💬 Tag the friend who needs this little push.
📌 Follow us @forthesoul6010 for daily fuel for the brave.

When a Friend Isn’t There When You Need Them the Most: Learning to Be Your Own Person

 

There are moments in life when you find yourself in need of someone—someone to talk to, someone to help you through the rough patches, someone to just be present with you. It’s natural to want a friend by your side, especially during the times when life feels overwhelming, when you feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. You call, you text, you reach out, hoping for a comforting presence. But what happens when they aren’t there? When, despite your need, the people you turn to are nowhere to be found?

At first, it stings. You feel abandoned, as if the connection you thought you had wasn’t as strong as you believed. It’s a tough pill to swallow. In those moments of loneliness, the silence is deafening. And while it’s okay to feel hurt or disappointed, it’s also important to take a step back and realize something profound: sometimes, you have to learn to be your own person.

They Not Like Me

 Sometimes I forget that people aren’t like me.

That not everyone has the same heart.

That not everyone will go out of their way just because they care.

I catch myself doing things for others—

little things, big things—

thinking, “If they were in my shoes, they’d do the same for me.”

But that’s not always true.

I bend over backwards,

stretch myself thin,

go the extra mile—

because that's how I show love, how I show up.

Because that’s who I am.

But not everyone thinks that way.

Some won’t even take a step for you,

while you're out here moving mountains just to make them smile.

And that realization stings.

It’s exhausting to keep giving to people who wouldn’t do the bare minimum for you.

To carry weight for others who never ask how you’re doing.

But I’m learning.

Learning that I can’t expect me from everyone.

Learning that my love, my effort, my energy—it’s valuable.

And it should be given to those who understand its worth.

Boundaries are not bitterness.

Pulling back isn’t being cold.

It’s protection. It’s self-respect.

I’ll still be me—

still kind, still thoughtful, still full of heart—

but I won’t keep setting myself on fire to keep people warm

who wouldn’t even pass me the match.

Well It’s Okay

 

The Little Demonic Things

The people you surround yourself with matter more than you think. It’s not about having a crowd—it’s about having a solid few who genuinely have your back. People who take care of your name when you're there and, more importantly, when you're not. Those are the ones you keep close.

It doesn’t matter if it’s just two or three people. What matters is their loyalty, their integrity, and their energy. Because at the end of the day, the size of your circle doesn’t determine your strength—the foundation does.

We always hear, "It’s the little things we do that matter." And that’s true. The small acts of kindness, the little efforts, the quiet support—those things build strong relationships. But don’t forget, it’s also the little, sneaky, and demonic things people do that reveal their true colors. The offhand comments, the subtle jabs, the energy shifts when you're not around—those are the red flags you shouldn’t ignore.

Pay attention. Not everyone who smiles with you is for you. Some people clap for you in public but tear you down in private. That’s why protecting your space and your energy is crucial. Choose wisely, move intentionally, and keep your circle full of real ones.

Loyalty over numbers. Always. 🤞🏽🔥

Truly Blessed

Man, I swear, God really got me. No matter what I do or where life takes me, He always puts me on the right path—one that leads me to the kind of people who just get me. The kind of people who don’t just feel like friends, but like family. Actually, even more than that. ❤️

I be thinking… I must’ve done something WILD in my past life, maybe even saved a whole nation or something 😂—'cause the way I keep meeting the realest people? That’s nothing but divine favor. Grateful beyond words for these connections, these bonds that feel like they were written in the stars. 💫

And what makes it even better? The stupid little fights we had over the dumbest things. Like who was right about a random fact, or who stole whose food. 😂 We really thought we were beefing, but look at us now, just laughing about it like it was never that deep. That’s how you know it’s real. No matter what, we always find our way back to each other.

Life is crazy, but one thing’s for sure.I got the best people riding with me. And for that, I’ll always be grateful. 🤍

Hey Dad

 Hey Dad,

I hope you're somewhere peaceful, somewhere beyond what my eyes can see but close enough for me to feel. I wonder if you’re watching over me, catching all the little moments—like when I laugh at something stupid, when I hit a small win, or when I completely fall apart. I like to think that maybe you see it all. Maybe you still look out for me in your own way.

Some days, I feel okay. I smile when I think of you, remembering your voice, your jokes, the way you made everything feel a little safer. But then there are days when it hits differently—like a wave I wasn’t ready for. A song, a smell, or even just the silence can bring me right back to missing you all over again.

I still talk to you in my head, like you never really left. I tell you about my day, my worries, my hopes—sometimes just hoping, somehow, you hear me. And if you do, I just want you to know this: I love you. I miss you. And no matter how much time passes, I’ll always carry you with me.

Some Random Thought from Last Sunday

I had a realization while I was at the beach last Sunday, and it honestly hit me hard. As I was just chilling by the water, I couldn’t help but think about what I want for my future self. Like, we all get older, right? But I really hope I don’t turn into that person whose ego is always begging for attention and validation. You know, the kind of person who needs constant reassurance from others to feel good about themselves? I don’t want that for me.

I hope I won’t become the person who makes others feel bad just to feel good about myself. I don’t want to tear anyone down to build myself up. It’s so easy to get caught up in that toxic cycle, but I want to be better than that. I want to grow into someone who doesn’t need to be constantly praised or told they’re doing great. Instead, I want to find peace within myself, to be secure and confident without relying on the opinions of others. It’s not about shutting out feedback, but rather about not letting my worth depend on someone else’s words or approval.

I guess, at the end of the day, it’s about self-love and self-assurance. I want to be that person who can just be, without needing the spotlight or constant strokes to feel validated. Here’s to embracing who we are, flaws and all, and learning to stand tall even when no one else is around to clap.

#SelfGrowth #Reflection #BeYourself

Hey! This is For You

Yo, if you're reading this and you give a damn, this one's for you.

Real talk: one day when I’m old and my legs are movin’ slower than dial-up internet, I want you to roll with me to the beach. I’m talkin’ about kickin’ it on the sand, just chillin’ and starin’ out into that endless, wild nothingness like it’s our own personal universe. I wanna soak up that sun until I’m crispy, with no worries, just letting the good vibes wash over me.

And hey, you know we gotta have that soundtrack on deck. I need those 2000s R&B jams bumpin’ in the background. Tracks that hit different and take you back to all those wild nights, heartbreaks, and unforgettable moments. Let that smooth music remind us how life can be both a banger and a slow jam, all rolled into one epic journey.

When it’s time for me to peace out from this crazy ride, I want to look back and know I lived it up—laughin’, lovin’, dancin’, and takin’ every chance life threw my way. I wanna be that old soul at the beach, smilin’ like I’ve seen it all, feelin’ grateful for every high and every low that made me who I am.

So here’s the deal: let’s not just coast through life. Let’s make every moment count, create memories that are as dope as those 2000s tracks, and always remember where we came from. Live loud, love hard, and never settle for less. When my time comes, I hope I leave behind a legacy of wild adventures and real connections.

Stay real, stay true, and keep the vibes alive—this life’s worth every minute if you live it like it’s the last track on your favorite playlist.

38: This is My Era of Reciprocity

This chapter of my life is called Reciprocity—and it’s a game-changer. For so long, I’ve been pouring into others without asking much in return. But now, I’m flipping the script. I’ve learned that you can’t keep giving when the energy isn’t mutual. It’s exhausting, unfulfilling, and unfair to yourself.

So here’s the new rule: I’ll give you the same energy you give me. You bring kindness, you’ll get kindness in return. You offer love and support, I’ll meet you with the same. But if all you bring is indifference, negativity, or distance, that’s what you’ll get back. It’s not about being petty—it’s about balance and self-respect.

Reciprocity is freedom. It’s letting go of one-sided relationships and stepping into a space where mutual effort, respect, and love are the standard. This isn’t about revenge or proving a point; it’s about protecting my peace and creating meaningful, balanced connections.

At 38, I’ve learned that not everyone is meant to walk this journey with me forever. And to the bridges I’ll inevitably burn along the way—good luck. 🔥 Not all connections are meant to last, and that’s okay. I’ll keep moving forward, lighter and freer, with no hard feelings.

Here’s to this era of alignment, healthy boundaries, and only giving what I get in return. Let’s see how this goes.

#ReciprocityEra #38YearsYoung #SelfLoveJourney #HealthyBoundaries #ProtectYourPeace #MutualEnergyOnly #GrowthMindset

Breaking the Cycle

 Ahem. There was this girl I know. She was cute, alright, but she had one fatal flaw—she liked one of my closest friends, and he never saw her worth.

She did everything to get his attention. She hung out with the boys, chilled at a common friend’s house, even made up stories just to keep him around. But the harder she tried, the further he pulled away. I thought it was pathetic, cheap, and degrading.

Until today.

Over dinner, I told my sister about this girl. About all the things she did. And my sister? She dropped a truth bomb I wasn’t ready for.

"You have no right to laugh at her," she said. "Considering all the things you did with that guy."

And just like that, it hit me.

I was that girl—or maybe even worse. I’ve been caught in this vicious cycle: meet a guy, fall hard, fall harder, get crazy, things fall apart, melt down, move on. Rinse. Repeat.

My sister asked me when it will stop. Truth is, I don’t know the answer.

But here's what I’m starting to realize: it’s not about the guy, the chase, or even the heartbreak. It’s about me. My choices, my patterns, my why. Why do I keep running after people who don’t stay? Why do I give so much of myself to someone who doesn’t give the same back?

It’s a hard truth to swallow, but sometimes, the love we desperately try to find in others is the love we’re not giving ourselves.

So, to the girl I laughed at—you taught me something. You weren’t pathetic. You were just looking for love in the wrong place.

And to myself—maybe it’s time to break the cycle. To pause, reflect, and remember that love isn’t about losing yourself to find someone else.

It’s about finding you.