When a Friend Isn’t There When You Need Them the Most: Learning to Be Your Own Person

 

There are moments in life when you find yourself in need of someone—someone to talk to, someone to help you through the rough patches, someone to just be present with you. It’s natural to want a friend by your side, especially during the times when life feels overwhelming, when you feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. You call, you text, you reach out, hoping for a comforting presence. But what happens when they aren’t there? When, despite your need, the people you turn to are nowhere to be found?

At first, it stings. You feel abandoned, as if the connection you thought you had wasn’t as strong as you believed. It’s a tough pill to swallow. In those moments of loneliness, the silence is deafening. And while it’s okay to feel hurt or disappointed, it’s also important to take a step back and realize something profound: sometimes, you have to learn to be your own person.

They Not Like Me

 Sometimes I forget that people aren’t like me.

That not everyone has the same heart.

That not everyone will go out of their way just because they care.

I catch myself doing things for others—

little things, big things—

thinking, “If they were in my shoes, they’d do the same for me.”

But that’s not always true.

I bend over backwards,

stretch myself thin,

go the extra mile—

because that's how I show love, how I show up.

Because that’s who I am.

But not everyone thinks that way.

Some won’t even take a step for you,

while you're out here moving mountains just to make them smile.

And that realization stings.

It’s exhausting to keep giving to people who wouldn’t do the bare minimum for you.

To carry weight for others who never ask how you’re doing.

But I’m learning.

Learning that I can’t expect me from everyone.

Learning that my love, my effort, my energy—it’s valuable.

And it should be given to those who understand its worth.

Boundaries are not bitterness.

Pulling back isn’t being cold.

It’s protection. It’s self-respect.

I’ll still be me—

still kind, still thoughtful, still full of heart—

but I won’t keep setting myself on fire to keep people warm

who wouldn’t even pass me the match.

Well It’s Okay

 

The Little Demonic Things

The people you surround yourself with matter more than you think. It’s not about having a crowd—it’s about having a solid few who genuinely have your back. People who take care of your name when you're there and, more importantly, when you're not. Those are the ones you keep close.

It doesn’t matter if it’s just two or three people. What matters is their loyalty, their integrity, and their energy. Because at the end of the day, the size of your circle doesn’t determine your strength—the foundation does.

We always hear, "It’s the little things we do that matter." And that’s true. The small acts of kindness, the little efforts, the quiet support—those things build strong relationships. But don’t forget, it’s also the little, sneaky, and demonic things people do that reveal their true colors. The offhand comments, the subtle jabs, the energy shifts when you're not around—those are the red flags you shouldn’t ignore.

Pay attention. Not everyone who smiles with you is for you. Some people clap for you in public but tear you down in private. That’s why protecting your space and your energy is crucial. Choose wisely, move intentionally, and keep your circle full of real ones.

Loyalty over numbers. Always. 🤞🏽🔥

Truly Blessed

Man, I swear, God really got me. No matter what I do or where life takes me, He always puts me on the right path—one that leads me to the kind of people who just get me. The kind of people who don’t just feel like friends, but like family. Actually, even more than that. ❤️

I be thinking… I must’ve done something WILD in my past life, maybe even saved a whole nation or something 😂—'cause the way I keep meeting the realest people? That’s nothing but divine favor. Grateful beyond words for these connections, these bonds that feel like they were written in the stars. 💫

And what makes it even better? The stupid little fights we had over the dumbest things. Like who was right about a random fact, or who stole whose food. 😂 We really thought we were beefing, but look at us now, just laughing about it like it was never that deep. That’s how you know it’s real. No matter what, we always find our way back to each other.

Life is crazy, but one thing’s for sure.I got the best people riding with me. And for that, I’ll always be grateful. 🤍

Hey Dad

 Hey Dad,

I hope you're somewhere peaceful, somewhere beyond what my eyes can see but close enough for me to feel. I wonder if you’re watching over me, catching all the little moments—like when I laugh at something stupid, when I hit a small win, or when I completely fall apart. I like to think that maybe you see it all. Maybe you still look out for me in your own way.

Some days, I feel okay. I smile when I think of you, remembering your voice, your jokes, the way you made everything feel a little safer. But then there are days when it hits differently—like a wave I wasn’t ready for. A song, a smell, or even just the silence can bring me right back to missing you all over again.

I still talk to you in my head, like you never really left. I tell you about my day, my worries, my hopes—sometimes just hoping, somehow, you hear me. And if you do, I just want you to know this: I love you. I miss you. And no matter how much time passes, I’ll always carry you with me.

Some Random Thought from Last Sunday

I had a realization while I was at the beach last Sunday, and it honestly hit me hard. As I was just chilling by the water, I couldn’t help but think about what I want for my future self. Like, we all get older, right? But I really hope I don’t turn into that person whose ego is always begging for attention and validation. You know, the kind of person who needs constant reassurance from others to feel good about themselves? I don’t want that for me.

I hope I won’t become the person who makes others feel bad just to feel good about myself. I don’t want to tear anyone down to build myself up. It’s so easy to get caught up in that toxic cycle, but I want to be better than that. I want to grow into someone who doesn’t need to be constantly praised or told they’re doing great. Instead, I want to find peace within myself, to be secure and confident without relying on the opinions of others. It’s not about shutting out feedback, but rather about not letting my worth depend on someone else’s words or approval.

I guess, at the end of the day, it’s about self-love and self-assurance. I want to be that person who can just be, without needing the spotlight or constant strokes to feel validated. Here’s to embracing who we are, flaws and all, and learning to stand tall even when no one else is around to clap.

#SelfGrowth #Reflection #BeYourself

Hey! This is For You

Yo, if you're reading this and you give a damn, this one's for you.

Real talk: one day when I’m old and my legs are movin’ slower than dial-up internet, I want you to roll with me to the beach. I’m talkin’ about kickin’ it on the sand, just chillin’ and starin’ out into that endless, wild nothingness like it’s our own personal universe. I wanna soak up that sun until I’m crispy, with no worries, just letting the good vibes wash over me.

And hey, you know we gotta have that soundtrack on deck. I need those 2000s R&B jams bumpin’ in the background. Tracks that hit different and take you back to all those wild nights, heartbreaks, and unforgettable moments. Let that smooth music remind us how life can be both a banger and a slow jam, all rolled into one epic journey.

When it’s time for me to peace out from this crazy ride, I want to look back and know I lived it up—laughin’, lovin’, dancin’, and takin’ every chance life threw my way. I wanna be that old soul at the beach, smilin’ like I’ve seen it all, feelin’ grateful for every high and every low that made me who I am.

So here’s the deal: let’s not just coast through life. Let’s make every moment count, create memories that are as dope as those 2000s tracks, and always remember where we came from. Live loud, love hard, and never settle for less. When my time comes, I hope I leave behind a legacy of wild adventures and real connections.

Stay real, stay true, and keep the vibes alive—this life’s worth every minute if you live it like it’s the last track on your favorite playlist.

38: This is My Era of Reciprocity

This chapter of my life is called Reciprocity—and it’s a game-changer. For so long, I’ve been pouring into others without asking much in return. But now, I’m flipping the script. I’ve learned that you can’t keep giving when the energy isn’t mutual. It’s exhausting, unfulfilling, and unfair to yourself.

So here’s the new rule: I’ll give you the same energy you give me. You bring kindness, you’ll get kindness in return. You offer love and support, I’ll meet you with the same. But if all you bring is indifference, negativity, or distance, that’s what you’ll get back. It’s not about being petty—it’s about balance and self-respect.

Reciprocity is freedom. It’s letting go of one-sided relationships and stepping into a space where mutual effort, respect, and love are the standard. This isn’t about revenge or proving a point; it’s about protecting my peace and creating meaningful, balanced connections.

At 38, I’ve learned that not everyone is meant to walk this journey with me forever. And to the bridges I’ll inevitably burn along the way—good luck. 🔥 Not all connections are meant to last, and that’s okay. I’ll keep moving forward, lighter and freer, with no hard feelings.

Here’s to this era of alignment, healthy boundaries, and only giving what I get in return. Let’s see how this goes.

#ReciprocityEra #38YearsYoung #SelfLoveJourney #HealthyBoundaries #ProtectYourPeace #MutualEnergyOnly #GrowthMindset

Breaking the Cycle

 Ahem. There was this girl I know. She was cute, alright, but she had one fatal flaw—she liked one of my closest friends, and he never saw her worth.

She did everything to get his attention. She hung out with the boys, chilled at a common friend’s house, even made up stories just to keep him around. But the harder she tried, the further he pulled away. I thought it was pathetic, cheap, and degrading.

Until today.

Over dinner, I told my sister about this girl. About all the things she did. And my sister? She dropped a truth bomb I wasn’t ready for.

"You have no right to laugh at her," she said. "Considering all the things you did with that guy."

And just like that, it hit me.

I was that girl—or maybe even worse. I’ve been caught in this vicious cycle: meet a guy, fall hard, fall harder, get crazy, things fall apart, melt down, move on. Rinse. Repeat.

My sister asked me when it will stop. Truth is, I don’t know the answer.

But here's what I’m starting to realize: it’s not about the guy, the chase, or even the heartbreak. It’s about me. My choices, my patterns, my why. Why do I keep running after people who don’t stay? Why do I give so much of myself to someone who doesn’t give the same back?

It’s a hard truth to swallow, but sometimes, the love we desperately try to find in others is the love we’re not giving ourselves.

So, to the girl I laughed at—you taught me something. You weren’t pathetic. You were just looking for love in the wrong place.

And to myself—maybe it’s time to break the cycle. To pause, reflect, and remember that love isn’t about losing yourself to find someone else.

It’s about finding you.