Thank you @gmmtv @bbrightvc @winmetawin for the fantasy. Thank you for waking up the young gay boy that i used to be. The one that believes in love. Thank you for the positivity. Thank you for giving me something to look forward to every friday. Thank you so much.
Quarantine Tings
Wednesday, April 08, 2020
Dear Friends,
Before Covid-19, life has been so complicated that I forgot what is essential in life. This quarantine life got me into thinking what I miss out on and what I always take for granted.
Before I never really realize how many times my mom has waited for me coz I always went out late. Today, she get to sleep early coz I am always at home if Im not working. I really appreciate it now how much of a sacrifice and dedication she had given for me.
I really appreciate all my friends going out of their way just to make sure I am okay. From sending me brownies just to make sure I don’t go hungry. Some lend me their raincoat and send me extra masks just to make sure I am protected. To sending me intubation shields and donating a lot of PPE’s so I wont be dead. To giving me documents over the window just so my other workmates can come to work. To chatting with me late night so I wont be bored.
You guys are all appreciated.
This quarantine has made life BASIC and I guess basic is what we all need.
I love u all. I hope ma realize sad ni ninyo.
Before Covid-19, life has been so complicated that I forgot what is essential in life. This quarantine life got me into thinking what I miss out on and what I always take for granted.
Before I never really realize how many times my mom has waited for me coz I always went out late. Today, she get to sleep early coz I am always at home if Im not working. I really appreciate it now how much of a sacrifice and dedication she had given for me.
I really appreciate all my friends going out of their way just to make sure I am okay. From sending me brownies just to make sure I don’t go hungry. Some lend me their raincoat and send me extra masks just to make sure I am protected. To sending me intubation shields and donating a lot of PPE’s so I wont be dead. To giving me documents over the window just so my other workmates can come to work. To chatting with me late night so I wont be bored.
You guys are all appreciated.
This quarantine has made life BASIC and I guess basic is what we all need.
I love u all. I hope ma realize sad ni ninyo.
Bad Decision
Thursday, January 23, 2020
Bad Decisions
I admit. I have so many bad decisions in my life. It goes from the clothes I decide to buy and wear to what kind of food I decide to eat for lunch. Sometimes it involves people who I decide to go out at night or the person I choose to trust in my circle. Sometimes one bad decision could turn out great or one good decision could turn out worse.
Last summer I made a decision to trust someone. That decision turned my life 180. All about me fell down. It made me question not just everyone around me but including myself.
I was unraveling. I always feel like I am failing everyone. I am failing myself most of all. I always feel like everyone is trying to put me down or better yet shake their heads and roll their eyes out at my decisions.
And that fire inside me died. I got tired of my everyday life getting from point A to point B. That’s when I decided to drink heavily. Things got better and then great and now worse.
I thought I am okay but it was just alcohol clouding and masking all my emotions inside. There are nights when I am just one bad decision away from not being here. I'm just tired. Tired of all the drama. I got tired of people in general. Noone is specific but just tired of human interaction. I'm tired of pretending that I am okay when I am emotionally unstable.
Sometimes I start to question if things will ever be okay. Will I be able to trust people again? and I scramble coz usually I have the answer ready. Right now I have none.
I need more time to heal myself. Need more time to learn to get right back up. I need more time to see the sunshine from this dark place, I'm, in.
I’ve made this bed by myself. I know I can get out of this one on my own.
Coz hey life is GUCCI.
Bantayan Birthday Bash
Saturday, January 11, 2020
Labels:
Bantayan Island,
Birthday
Location:
Bantayan Island, Philippines
Lost
Friday, December 06, 2019
There are times when I felt like I am lost. Not lost physically but lost inside my mind. Like days when I don’t even know myself.
Believe me, there people in this world that would go out of their ways just to get on your side by telling all those lies. All they do is watch what I do and then post it like they know me through and through.
Sometimes I just close my eyes and pray coz in times like these that is all I need. Im just so glad that I have people that are holding me down for real.
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