This is dedicated to all the people who took time and effort to destroy my name. That’s all you can do? Try harder! Well anyways may God bless your sad soul.
Bad Decision
Thursday, January 23, 2020
Bad Decisions
I admit. I have so many bad decisions in my life. It goes from the clothes I decide to buy and wear to what kind of food I decide to eat for lunch. Sometimes it involves people who I decide to go out at night or the person I choose to trust in my circle. Sometimes one bad decision could turn out great or one good decision could turn out worse.
Last summer I made a decision to trust someone. That decision turned my life 180. All about me fell down. It made me question not just everyone around me but including myself.
I was unraveling. I always feel like I am failing everyone. I am failing myself most of all. I always feel like everyone is trying to put me down or better yet shake their heads and roll their eyes out at my decisions.
And that fire inside me died. I got tired of my everyday life getting from point A to point B. That’s when I decided to drink heavily. Things got better and then great and now worse.
I thought I am okay but it was just alcohol clouding and masking all my emotions inside. There are nights when I am just one bad decision away from not being here. I'm just tired. Tired of all the drama. I got tired of people in general. Noone is specific but just tired of human interaction. I'm tired of pretending that I am okay when I am emotionally unstable.
Sometimes I start to question if things will ever be okay. Will I be able to trust people again? and I scramble coz usually I have the answer ready. Right now I have none.
I need more time to heal myself. Need more time to learn to get right back up. I need more time to see the sunshine from this dark place, I'm, in.
I’ve made this bed by myself. I know I can get out of this one on my own.
Coz hey life is GUCCI.
Lost
Friday, December 06, 2019
There are times when I felt like I am lost. Not lost physically but lost inside my mind. Like days when I don’t even know myself.
Believe me, there people in this world that would go out of their ways just to get on your side by telling all those lies. All they do is watch what I do and then post it like they know me through and through.
Sometimes I just close my eyes and pray coz in times like these that is all I need. Im just so glad that I have people that are holding me down for real.
Loyalty
Wednesday, November 27, 2019
As what I always say to you. I will ride through the bullshit with you if you dont bullshit me. The thing is that loyalty is not grey. It’s black or white. I thought you were just too young to figure it out so I pointed it out for you. You cant be loyal only when it serves you.
It’s either you learn that or I have to teach my self to let you go. Coz life has taught me that you cant control someone’s loyalty. No matter how good you are to them. It doesnt mean they will treat you the same. No matter how much you value them doesnt mean they value you the same. Sometimes the person you love the most, turns out to be the person you can trust the least.
Blood makes you related. Loyalty makes you family.
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