Confessions of a Compulsive Liar

Monday, February 23, 2009

I know that living in this world is not easy. How much more if you’re gay with all the insecurities a person could possibly have. Added by having a dysfunctional family, then went from having it all to almost having nothing at all. I've been through a lot in my life. Lot's of stuffs that nobody even cared to explain because I don't understand everything that's been happening around me. I was lost and confused. That's when I got into alcohol and messed up a lot in high school. I was having a hard time trying to fit in. I tried to hang out with all types of people, bad and good. I lied, I bluffed, I exaggerated things, and I made up stories so that I could feel that I belong if they think that I'm all that. It's a madness that I can't just turn off. An addiction more potent than heroine.

And all those stuffs are haunting me now. Things got out of control and I think that I am to Blame. The People that I truly cared for are now going away. I'm dying inside. I felt so empty and hollow. I realized this when a very close friend of mine started to ignore me. He was fed up by the lame excuses that I told him. I know that I'm not the same anymore. I know I had to change.

As I enter a new chapter in my life, I have to renovate my inner self. Start anew. I can't continue living like this.

I don't want you to forgive me so that I could come out clean. I just want you to understand and maybe in the long run, slowly you'll find it in your heart to accept me.

I just want you to know that, No matter what I'll always be here for you.

So This is Me...

I'm Jan Errol P. Duazo and I'm a Liar.

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