Things Change!

It's amazing that in just a matter of days, how things can change so fast. It's out of control. In a blink of an eye, all the things that I ever wanted went out of my reach. As I look back, I couldn't imagine that things would end up this way. In the process Im loosing myself.

Things had to change..... certainly...




Seriously... I had to, for my friends, family and for myself....

Just Because

Just because I'm gay, It doesn't mean that I don't have feelings. well I get hurt too.
Just because I'm gay, It doesn't mean that I'm promiscuous.
Just because you said "no offense", it doesn't mean you can say anything nasty. Hello all douche does that all the time.
Just because I'm beautiful it doesn't mean that I'm perfect. I had flaws too.
Just because I made this post it doesn't mean that it had any sense.. this is just like one of those entries that will make you roll your eyes and say.. boring

Friends Don't Eff

I really shouldn't be making this post but I just have to. A lot of people had this crazy stereotype that gays can't have guys that are straight as friends. They always had this thought in their punitive mind that once a gay guy hangs out with his straight friends they always end up in bed. Have a crazy one night stand. This could be true for some people but that is so not me!

I don't have this habit of playin around with my friends, whatever, we had fun but not that way. I am not raised this way. Foolishness and sick F*ckery is so not my thing. I respect myself that's why "MY REAL FRIENDS RESPECT ME".

If you had this idea, well maybe you should "X" me out of it. You'll be disappointed.

And For what its worth....

I DONT F*CK my Friends and REAL FRIENDS DON'T F*CK!

So drop it.

P.S. Im not posting this to single out or to attack someone. but I just want you guys to stop it coz its not funny.

Getting to Know Myself All Over Again

I thought I already knew myself..but I was wrong. Times tested me to my limits and had me on my knees and beg for mercy. I thought that I'm not capable of loving someone. Though it's so yesterday but that experience made me what I am today. A better, different, brand new, bitchier if that's a word and tougher than Yesterday.


I realized that change is constant and we can't be that same person that we were yesterday. We had to move forward and we should work for it. Work to make ourselves better so that we can be at our best..And certainly I will put a whole new meaning to the words bitch and backstabbing.. I'll make sure of that...

Thanks for keeping up with me when I was so crunky and Irrate.. I appreciate that.. Please stay!...

Random Thoughts

What does the newest text message in your inbox say?

► "Suncellular chenis.. bout the load thing"

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What was the last song you sang out loud?

► PAPARAZZI-Lady Gaga!

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What time did you go to bed last night?

►about 4am

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When was the last time you cried?

► Last night.. cried myself to sleep.

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Who gives you the best advice?

► C Meg

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What was the last thing to make you laugh?

►DOTA....

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What annoys you most in a person?

► Pretenders... I hate them a lot

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Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollars?

► Yes.. tired of being poor...can I unpoor myself???

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Who was the last person you saw in person?

►Mga kaduwa og dota

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Have you changed this year?

► Yea.. a lot...

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What are you listening to right now?

► Vanity-Lady Gaga

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Are you talking to anyone while doing this?

► Yeah.. Ron2

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Msg for someone...

► Please don't come near me...

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Have you ever played an instrument?

► yeah.. drums.. and i sucked

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What's the worst idea you've had this week?

►like a lot.. what i had in my brain might surprise you....

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What were you doing at 4 am?

► sleepin

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Are you a blonde?

► nope.. brunnette

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Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?

► Yeah.. Sa bus...

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Do you think you can love someone without trusting them?

► no

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What is something that you're looking forward to?

► Nothin...its hard... made my heart bleed everytime...

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Have you eaten popcorn in the last 48 hours?

► nope...

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Is there someone who likes you?

►Nope.. and i think noone will

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Are you wearing socks?

► not right now....

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Who's thinking about you right now?

► Just killing time with this crap

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What are you thinking about?

►Him

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Is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color?

►It is

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Without naming any names, say something to somebody:

► I love you GOODBYE

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How did you and the second in your featured friends become friends?

► C kevin sam?? Childhood friends.. but im a lot older than him.. Neighbors...

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Are you happy with the way things are going?

►Not really...

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Would you ever get a tattoo?

►Thinking about getting a bar code tat on my nape

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Honestly, do you hate the last girl you were talking to in person?

► Nope.. i love my majesty

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Where is the person you miss the most right now?

► Idk..

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In the last 24 hours have you done anything you regret?

►Yeah.. and dont want to think about it ever...

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Do you hate anyone?

►yeah.. i am not really not like this...

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Can you watch scary movies?

► ye

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Has anyone ever spelled your name wrong?

► always... its double R people

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Would you rather have roommates or live alone?

► roomates

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Did you cry at all today?

► nop

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Have you ever cut your own hair?

► yep...

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Have you ever told someone that you loved him?

► Nope.. and no plans...

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Is your best friend single?

► yes like recently lng gyud hahaha

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What do you want for your next birthday?

► A bf...

It Ends Tonight

I don't know what to do right now.... I'm currently sorting things out. There's so many things I wanna know the answers to.

The chances I took for him had me on my knees, but you'll never see me beg. Go and die alone, I'm not coming with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I knew this is coming, I just never thought that it would be this soon.

IT was too much to handle... Thank GOD I had this blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Now I realized that......



I'm not Cinderalla and he ain't PRINCE CHARMING, And This is not My Happy ENDING

Words Better Off Unspoken But Done

After 5 minutes of soul searching, I came up with words that would mean a lot if it is unspoken but it should be showed. Things would be different and a lot better if we do this.


1. Love
2. Care
3. Concern
4. Humility(being humble)

These words would mean so much if we show it done just by verbalizing it.


After all, Actions speaks louder than words!!!!!

Remember that...

Love or Money?

I have a friend who is really confused about a guy she is currently seeing. She asked me if the Guy was really into her or is he only dating her because of her money.

For one, the guy looked so awful, he was like a picture of someone with a scarlet fever and some scars for a face. He had the thickest nerve for making my friend pay up for everything that he needs. I'm tellin you he's a complete and utter "A".

I don't want to burst her bubble just like that, but I don't want her to live a life of lies. So I said Open your eyes and see reality because there are things that we couldn't see because our heart was blocking the view. Sometimes we couldn't view things clearly because we wanted to satisfy what our heart had always crave right from the start, we refuse to accept the fact that he was just lying and we hope that he was telling the truth.


And after all this when we're all sucked up and exhausted that's when we realize that things are not going right and regret sinks in...


There's no one to blame because there's always that part of ourselves that needs to love and be loved may it be for real love or just for money.

Being Young Wild and Free

A lot of People have been asking me why I'm like this. They often labeled me as immature. Well they were right. It's me, I made mistakes but I learn from them. I don't live by people's expectations. I don't have any regrets with the things that I did but I regret those things that I never did. I'm not saying that I'm a good role Model. My life is not perfect.


Live your life the way you want it to be. Celebrate being Young

Enjoy!

I made it

This is one of those post that you might find corny and unnecessary. Feel free to close this window, I won't mind.


Today I just received the ticket to a better tomorrow. I'm now a Registered Nurse. It's a bittersweet victory I must say. Knowing that some of my friends never made it. I couldn't just rejoice at the top of my lungs.

This is for the people who have helped me along the way.

To My Parents for their undying love and Support.
To our Dean and to the Faculty, You Taught us Well..
To Miss Daryl T. Aramil, Mr. Giovanni Verano, Miss Hanna B. Pilario and Miss Abegail Uy, Teching me what I refused to learn.
To Reinaflor "anday" Jusay for visiting me while I was on rehab.
To Ernest Roan "lil xylem" Dalag, for the late night txts when I can't sleep because of anxiety.
To Keisha Najarro, Roldan Conde, Wynonna Salazar for pushing me up when I was so down.
To My Rehab Roommates, Pinky, Gergen, Lorelyn, Cyril "maretes", and Jane "dayang", Rehab wont be the same without you. Those were memories that lasts a lifetime.
To the People who believed in me, Thank you.
To the People who never believed in me, Hey Look where I am Now.

Thanks!


CONGRATS! To all the CIT PASSERS

Pre Valentine Dramz

There was this guy from my hometown that I really love. I swear.. Way back in my elementary days to my High School years. I know that it’s not right, it’s not even normal, I think. So I suppressed it. I left the town right before My Senior Year in High School just to close the doors of the past. I still come back every once in a while for a day or two, so that there would be no chance of seeing him. And it has been Six years since then.

I thought I was over him, so I decided to go back and stayed longer than I used to. It’s been 3 weeks and we've been seeing each other, hangout, eat out together. I know that I was over him. Well I thought I knew. We've talked about things and catch up on each other. Everything went well.

Till one night when we went out together. He told me that his heart was breaking. He told me everything about this girl that I really know and how she broke his heart. He cried in front of me and sob til dawn. I've never seen a guy break out like that. He said that he still needs me when he stumble and fall like what we used to. I think that it's just okay coz we're friends. She is one lucky B*tch.

What surprised me more was my heart. I don't know what to call that feeling but it hurts. I don't want to see him cry or hurt. Even though I think that his problem is not worth my time but I just can't leave him behind like that.

Right now I'm lost. I don't know where to put myself.


I'm really confused.



Am I rekindling the old flame that I’ve tried to put off or It's just a friendly PITY that I'm Feeling.


Please Help Me..

My DAY

Just got a year older and it makes me wonder why we had to grow old when its our birthday. Wish it was Just a Happy day and not worry about being a year older...

OK I'm twenty something and I'm worried about what's gonna happen to my life now. Thinking about responsibilities and maturity scares the bones out of me...

My Birthday thoughts

1. I definitely need a love life. The one who would love me like I love him.
2. I need to start looking for a day job...
3. For some reasons I felt like I'm so Empty Inside, but don't try to fix me, I'm not broken.
4. Many People asked me why I spell b*tch like betch. Well Hello, Bisaya version kaya na.. and I'm not stupid. I also use that word not in an offensive or cursing kind of way and for me it means HOTTIE, or, awesome and so on...


So thats it...

TTYS
BYE