Getting Over Is Hard to Get Over
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
I know it's bananas when I would say that I had a relapse. I'm already broken but my mind keeps pounding my heart in little bits of pieces til it becomes dust. Why can't we be satisfied with what is laid on our plate? Why do we to reach over someone's platter and take a piece? Crack me up and look inside but I don't have the answers.
Would it be too much to ask if you want your old self back after you are scraped out of your juice?
These thought keeps me alive:
I'm not alone, I'm Just Single. I still got my Friends on my Back.
How Gays are Made
Monday, June 08, 2009
Seriously, gays are born and not made. Some people may that some guy made him gay what they don't is that they are born that way. They just don't realize it and needs a slight push for them to fully realize their potentials as GAYS.
Things Change!
Things had to change..... certainly...
Seriously... I had to, for my friends, family and for myself....
Chasing Gaga
Monday, June 01, 2009
click here to view the video
Bogo Fiesta 2009 Bonanza
Saturday, May 30, 2009
But gays like me, wouldn't let you guys down. We made sure that we had fun y'all. With a lil taste of glitter, a mix of rock n roll, a splash of shimmer are the ingredients needed to create a beautiful memory.
Snapshots from the ShutterBUG
Me, Nonette "Adam Lambert", Ulmar "yads", and Lee
Hey!!!
Wait, did you just fart?? kidding...
Another Kingkong Barbie Moment....
Just Because
Just because I'm gay, It doesn't mean that I'm promiscuous.
Just because you said "no offense", it doesn't mean you can say anything nasty. Hello all douche does that all the time.
Just because I'm beautiful it doesn't mean that I'm perfect. I had flaws too.
Just because I made this post it doesn't mean that it had any sense.. this is just like one of those entries that will make you roll your eyes and say.. boring
Twitterized
Friday, May 29, 2009
Facebook is so yesterday!
Seriously, come and join me on my twitter account.
click here
King Kong Barbie
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Im getting fatter and darker which made me look like Sh*t.
Friends Don't Eff
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I don't have this habit of playin around with my friends, whatever, we had fun but not that way. I am not raised this way. Foolishness and sick F*ckery is so not my thing. I respect myself that's why "MY REAL FRIENDS RESPECT ME".
If you had this idea, well maybe you should "X" me out of it. You'll be disappointed.
And For what its worth....
I DONT F*CK my Friends and REAL FRIENDS DON'T F*CK!
So drop it.
P.S. Im not posting this to single out or to attack someone. but I just want you guys to stop it coz its not funny.
Young By Thoughts!!!!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
How they became a soldier of life and stand up for me when Im so down. I always know that I had their back and it wont matter where I am coz they'll be there. I know that they will dodge life's bullets and put it on a ceasefire. Now aint that sweet??
This is Kevin Sam..17
Daryl 19
Chad 17
EMAY19, CHAD and REANNE17
MARIZ 17
Roan 20 and Reina19
You guys will always be my friend, my hommies, my brothers and sisters...
HAppy Fiesta Sa Amo
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Well anyways here are some pics with my fat ass.
Thought I was in Disco Heaven but this looks like a Disco Inferno!
Pa.Lo.od2 ni xa pero nahan ni xa sa personal.. this is emay btw.
With Kevin Sam
Latika and Kevin Sam
The Animal In the Party!!!!!
Wall Flowers
Getting to Know Myself All Over Again
Sunday, May 17, 2009
I realized that change is constant and we can't be that same person that we were yesterday. We had to move forward and we should work for it. Work to make ourselves better so that we can be at our best..And certainly I will put a whole new meaning to the words bitch and backstabbing.. I'll make sure of that...
Thanks for keeping up with me when I was so crunky and Irrate.. I appreciate that.. Please stay!...
Random Thoughts
Saturday, May 16, 2009
I heart Nanay Dionesia
Friday, May 15, 2009
Hey D, If your planning to pull out an Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Stunt, Just wanna let you know that Im up for adoption...
Gone Gaga
Thursday, May 14, 2009
But I think PAPARAZZI is her best song.
Just click here to go to her site
Happy Mothers Day Majesty
Saturday, May 09, 2009
The only one who will dodge all the bullets just for you to live.
Tomorrow, we will celebrate that special day for her.
Whatever you call her, mama, inay, mommy, mother, make her feel special and that she is appreciated.
To my MAJESTY. Happy MOTHER'S DAY.. I will always love you!
I Should Move on
A man is for a woman and a woman is for a man.
I was taken aback by this idea. This made me realize that I had to go back to reality and I couldn't take him with me. I still love him but I get myself away from him just to save that little amount of sanity left inside my head. This is very far and out from the person that I was then. Letting go is never easy for me and to start all over again is the only option I have.
I wanna be wild and carefree like I used to.
The Sweetest Song Ever
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
The sweetest song I've ever heard... Superman by Brown Boy...
Loving Secretly
Monday, May 04, 2009
Pathetic, maybe but you can't just teach your heart to stop beating for that person. My heart had a mind on its on. You can't just control it to like someone else.
I don't even understand myself why I took this road. All I know is when he's near I feel butterflies on my stomach and I see the birds and the bees.
This topic closes this way..
Nathadel Jore
Thursday, April 30, 2009
A lot of people have claimed that they know the real Nathadel and I am not claiming that I know her that much but I think I've seen enough. We became friends since forever.
God bless you MADZ. I know you will pass the Board Exam like I do. Keep the faith and just Pray...
A Lesson Well Learned
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Misunderstanding the Sweetness of a Person Might Hurt When You Thought It Was Love
This is his subtle way of reminding me that my insanity about a guy had gone too far. That I've pushed the limits and that all I've done is not worth it.
Thank you so much!
It's Official.. Im a Wedding Planner
Friday, April 24, 2009
Loving on the Rebound!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
The Saddest part is he is straight and he doesn't know that I like him.
You could be mad at me all you want but I ain't coming back and not loving him.
I'm losing myself....
I think I need to go to rehab.......
I don't know.. I must be crazy..
Long Distance Relationship is CRAP
Friday, April 17, 2009
I used to think that when you fall in love with someone you'll never fall out of it. That when you feel that it's real, it would endure time and distance. That love will make me happy.
These past few weeks I've been away from the guy that I love and truly cared for. I thought the distance would be bridged and everything will be alright. Space had tested us so soon into this relationship. Things had changed between us. Maybe because I jumped into this relationship with my eyes closed and my heart on my hands. I took that risk without any reservations. Certainly some risks are not worth it.
CONCLUSION: Long Distance Relationships wont work.. I THINK....
SINGLE LADIES Fever to the Extreme
Mga bayot boang na way mabuhat
Imagine what people do for that shot of fame.... and I am entertained....
OATH TAKING CEREMONY
With Jermaine and Kreole...
With Mario, Eric, Jermaine, and Londres....
It Ends Tonight
Saturday, April 04, 2009
The chances I took for him had me on my knees, but you'll never see me beg. Go and die alone, I'm not coming with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I knew this is coming, I just never thought that it would be this soon.
IT was too much to handle... Thank GOD I had this blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I realized that......
I'm not Cinderalla and he ain't PRINCE CHARMING, And This is not My Happy ENDING
Ouch!
Friday, April 03, 2009
I was bloghopping today and I bumped into my friend's blog. There's nobody in this world that could compare what he had been through. I admired his strength for throwing his pride towards the guy, but I found this conversation between them quite funny... I'm sorry C.
one morning....
me: good morning D, can i ask you a question?
no reply....
one day passed by....
two days....
that afternoon...
him: hi C! sori now lang ko ka reply. wats ur question diay? (hey c sorry, If I just replied to your message, what were u asking again?)
ignored him...
that night...
me: hi D! are you busy?
him: no. wats ur question diay?
me: hmmm what would you say if i told you i liked you? i really liked you?
him: salamat (thank you)
me: that's it?!
him: yep...salamat kaayu!(thank you so much)
me: uhh okay...so can we go out sometime?
him: pass lang ko ana C. (ill pass)
SYET! WA NAI MAS BUSTED PA ANI?!
Hangin Out With Friends at San Remegio
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Graduation!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Just Wanna Give a Big Shout out to my Hommies... You made me Proud and you made your mama Prouder
Words Better Off Unspoken But Done
1. Love
2. Care
3. Concern
4. Humility(being humble)
These words would mean so much if we show it done just by verbalizing it.
After all, Actions speaks louder than words!!!!!
Remember that...
Earth Hour
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Boomerang!
Friday, March 27, 2009
But even though she no longer want's to be my friend, I have no regrets for everything that I told her. I prefer to tell the truth and hurt someone than to tell a lie and make them smile.
So there's no need for a word-war coz that will make everything so cheap!!!!!!!!!!!
Love or Money?
Monday, March 23, 2009
For one, the guy looked so awful, he was like a picture of someone with a scarlet fever and some scars for a face. He had the thickest nerve for making my friend pay up for everything that he needs. I'm tellin you he's a complete and utter "A".
I don't want to burst her bubble just like that, but I don't want her to live a life of lies. So I said Open your eyes and see reality because there are things that we couldn't see because our heart was blocking the view. Sometimes we couldn't view things clearly because we wanted to satisfy what our heart had always crave right from the start, we refuse to accept the fact that he was just lying and we hope that he was telling the truth.
And after all this when we're all sucked up and exhausted that's when we realize that things are not going right and regret sinks in...
There's no one to blame because there's always that part of ourselves that needs to love and be loved may it be for real love or just for money.
Vintage Picture
Sitting: Rolly Anthony Orongan, Jay Nathan Jore, Kenneth Sotto, IDK, Liza Penagunda
Being Young Wild and Free
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Live your life the way you want it to be. Celebrate being Young
Enjoy!
Confessions of a Compulsive Liar
Monday, February 23, 2009
And all those stuffs are haunting me now. Things got out of control and I think that I am to Blame. The People that I truly cared for are now going away. I'm dying inside. I felt so empty and hollow. I realized this when a very close friend of mine started to ignore me. He was fed up by the lame excuses that I told him. I know that I'm not the same anymore. I know I had to change.
As I enter a new chapter in my life, I have to renovate my inner self. Start anew. I can't continue living like this.
I don't want you to forgive me so that I could come out clean. I just want you to understand and maybe in the long run, slowly you'll find it in your heart to accept me.
I just want you to know that, No matter what I'll always be here for you.
So This is Me...
I'm Jan Errol P. Duazo and I'm a Liar.
I made it
Friday, February 20, 2009
Today I just received the ticket to a better tomorrow. I'm now a Registered Nurse. It's a bittersweet victory I must say. Knowing that some of my friends never made it. I couldn't just rejoice at the top of my lungs.
This is for the people who have helped me along the way.
To My Parents for their undying love and Support.
To our Dean and to the Faculty, You Taught us Well..
To Miss Daryl T. Aramil, Mr. Giovanni Verano, Miss Hanna B. Pilario and Miss Abegail Uy, Teching me what I refused to learn.
To Reinaflor "anday" Jusay for visiting me while I was on rehab.
To Ernest Roan "lil xylem" Dalag, for the late night txts when I can't sleep because of anxiety.
To Keisha Najarro, Roldan Conde, Wynonna Salazar for pushing me up when I was so down.
To My Rehab Roommates, Pinky, Gergen, Lorelyn, Cyril "maretes", and Jane "dayang", Rehab wont be the same without you. Those were memories that lasts a lifetime.
To the People who believed in me, Thank you.
To the People who never believed in me, Hey Look where I am Now.
Thanks!
CONGRATS! To all the CIT PASSERS
Pre Valentine Dramz
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I thought I was over him, so I decided to go back and stayed longer than I used to. It’s been 3 weeks and we've been seeing each other, hangout, eat out together. I know that I was over him. Well I thought I knew. We've talked about things and catch up on each other. Everything went well.
Till one night when we went out together. He told me that his heart was breaking. He told me everything about this girl that I really know and how she broke his heart. He cried in front of me and sob til dawn. I've never seen a guy break out like that. He said that he still needs me when he stumble and fall like what we used to. I think that it's just okay coz we're friends. She is one lucky B*tch.
What surprised me more was my heart. I don't know what to call that feeling but it hurts. I don't want to see him cry or hurt. Even though I think that his problem is not worth my time but I just can't leave him behind like that.
Right now I'm lost. I don't know where to put myself.
I'm really confused.
Am I rekindling the old flame that I’ve tried to put off or It's just a friendly PITY that I'm Feeling.
Please Help Me..
Proper Jeepney Etiquette
Monday, January 26, 2009
1. When inside the jeepney, please stop staring at your co-passengers. It is really rude. Just take a picture it will last longer.
2. Please stop flashing your fancy cellphones. We get it, you are one social climbing person who saved up a year of your salary just to buy that phone.
3. When you accidentally step on a fellow passenger's toes, please be considerate enough to apologize! It's a public transportation..everybody deserves respect!
4. If you are a girl with a long hair. Please tie it up so that the person beside won't be able to have a free taste of your long hair everytime the wind blows.
5. Please don't talk so loud, the one beside you is not deaf and people around you are not interested with what you are talking about.
6. Place your hands where everybody can see it because if they can't see it, they might think your doing something else. Like snatching (duh)
7. If you're a guy, please don't try to squeeze in especially if the girl beside you is hot, its really rude. Be careful you might get an uninvited boner. Lol
8. If you are on a relationship, please avoid doing some PDA. People don't want a public free show. Just get a room okay.
9. I really hate this behavior, there are people who wont reach for someone's fare. Please pass that fare or just ride a taxi.
10. Please pay up. A jeepney is not a carnival ride. No free ride please.
So that's it...
Ride and enjoy...
things i dont understand about my mom
Sunday, January 25, 2009
2. why do i have to ask permission everytime i go out. look im already 21 and im still not allowed to go out at night on saturdays.. look mom im the only 21 years old gay virgin these days.. and that sucks...this is why sneaking out existed and i love it... the fear of getting caught makes the partying all worth it..
3. Every time i confide a secret at her and uses it against me. like its not fair coz everytime i tell her something that she's not allowed to tell she'll use that to blackmail me... so mom watch out imma blackmail u too... in time
4. why am i not allowed to be late when she is always 30 minutes late everytime we see each other. this is really unfair because she hates it everytime i made her wait but when im late its another long nagging time...
5. All she does best is worrying. she worries all the time . every minute every day she checks up on me and asks if i have eaten or not. and tells me not to go home late.. blah blah blah.. aw that sucks right.
Look i don't really hate my mom... these are the things i actually love about her...
ttys
lorre
That Big IDK....
Thursday, January 22, 2009
She asked me about myself, my strength and weaknesses, Which is very typical. As I was describing myself which took me a minute or so, she cut me off and asked me.
WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF A CALL CENTER JOB?
and I said...
IDK...
Believe me I was so shocked too when Ive said that...
Their are words that are better off unsaid.. and I guess IDK is one of those words...
It took me hours to realize what I have said and to realize why I never get that job.
I don't know If I can still go through all that same anxiety of applying for a job again...
Well anyway.. Maybe Call Center Job is not for me...
My DAY
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Just got a year older and it makes me wonder why we had to grow old when its our birthday. Wish it was Just a Happy day and not worry about being a year older...
OK I'm twenty something and I'm worried about what's gonna happen to my life now. Thinking about responsibilities and maturity scares the bones out of me...
My Birthday thoughts
1. I definitely need a love life. The one who would love me like I love him.
2. I need to start looking for a day job...
3. For some reasons I felt like I'm so Empty Inside, but don't try to fix me, I'm not broken.
4. Many People asked me why I spell b*tch like betch. Well Hello, Bisaya version kaya na.. and I'm not stupid. I also use that word not in an offensive or cursing kind of way and for me it means HOTTIE, or, awesome and so on...
So thats it...
TTYS
BYE